An unofficial, very official-looking website of the Dept. of Moon Vehicles

Dept. of Moon Vehicles Office of Lambo Issuance
Get $NEXT

Form 27‑L · Application for one (1) Lamborghini

Dept. of Moon Vehicles

Everyone asked wen lambo. Nobody filed the form.

Window 1 is open. Take a number.

Take a number Get $NEXT
  • Now serving: A‑0001
  • Windows open: 1
  • Average wait: 1 cycle
Notice
Window 1 is open● Please have your seed phrase notarized● Form 27‑R refunds of gas fees: denied● Bernard is on his coffee● Do not tap on the glass● Leaving the line forfeits your number● Lambo requests on file since 2017: all of them●

Case file · Wen lambo

Wrong
department.

Since 2017, every cycle, millions of people have asked wen lambo.

Nobody ever got an answer, because the question kept going to the wrong department.

The timeline doesn't issue vehicles. Neither does the group chat, and your dad only issues lectures. We do.

Rerouted to Window 1. Clerk on duty: Bernard.

Where you asked Who handles it now
The timelineDept. of Moon Vehicles
The group chatWindow 1
Your dadBernard
"wen?"Form 27‑L
HopeA paper ticket
Bernard, an old tortoise in a white short-sleeve shirt and tie, holding a red rubber stamp
Bernard · Window 1 · 41 years of service

Staff directory · Window 1

Meet
Bernard.

Bernard has worked Window 1 since before the Department had a name. He reads every form, all of it, including the back. He has one stamp and a coffee that went cold in 2021. For the line he keeps exactly one word.

Speed
Tortoise
Coffee
Cold
Stamps used
One
Says
NEXT!

Schedule A · Forms on file

Pick your
form.

Four forms, one window. The odds are printed on each form, small, the way the Department likes it.

27‑L

Lambo, Moon Ed.

Application for one (1) Lamborghini, Moon Edition. The most requested form in the building. Mostly by the same people, every cycle.

Approval rate · 3%

27‑M

The Moon

For applicants who want the whole moon, not just the car. Must include a parking plan and a reason it should be you.

Approval rate · 1%

27‑C

Used Civic, please

For the humble. Beige, 212,000 miles, smells like fries. Bernard quietly likes the people who file this one.

Approval rate · 40%

27‑R

Refund of gas fees

You may file it. Everyone files it once. It goes in the tray on the left, and nobody has ever seen the tray emptied.

Approval rate · 0%

Program architecture · The line

How the
line moves.

The line is the bonding curve. Everyone holding $NEXT is standing in it, holding a number.

  1. I

    Take a number

    A paper ticket prints with your number on it. Keep it. Leaving the line means losing your place.

  2. II

    Wait

    Bernard serves one window. The board does not move faster because you are staring at it.

  3. III

    The board moves

    Now serving follows the coin's market cap. More people in line, higher numbers called.

  4. IV

    NEXT!

    Your number comes up. Bernard looks at your form for a long time and reaches for the stamp.

Schedule C · Market capNow serving

The board starts when the coin does. Until then Window 1 serves A‑0001.

Form 27‑L · Window 1

Take a number.

Pull a ticket, fill in the form, hand it to Bernard. He will get to it.

Now servingA-0001
Your number----
Ahead of you--
Bernard at Window 1 Window 1
Form 27-L Application for one (1) Lamborghini, Moon Edition
2. Vehicle requested

Odds, printed small: approved 3% · return next cycle 52% · wrong window 25% · missing seed phrase notarization 20%

Tickets you have pulled at this office: 0 · approvals: 0

Get $NEXT on pump.fun Follow the Department
Form ID (CA) 3i1og4etwdHwzjpBSyijATX64u7qCxDgcQJ2fucQpump
Take a number